Dated 07/01

[fuck_it]

He thinks maybe he shouldn't turn up for work today, only he's got the closing shift and it'd be a bit shit to just not go. He doesn't know who'd end up closing down the store instead, and taking the night off just 'cause he's seen someone with Jal's face.

He should be done with this by now. It's been fuckin' years.

Only, he can't get her face out of his head now: the way she used to sometimes grin at him, even the way she'd shout at him for fucking up. He's in love with someone else now, he's not doubting that at all, but somehow he didn't realize how much he missed her until he was looking at someone with her face.

Chris is so distracted remembering earlier that he's not paying as much attention as he should, stacking some DVDs for display, and somehow manages to knock the lot of them over, and they go sliding down the aisle.

"Shit."

Comments

[pointzerothree]

Eduardo doesn't usually spend a lot of time on the floor when he comes into the store. He checks in on things periodically, but mostly works in his office, taking care of paperwork and whatever administrative business needs to be done, and leaves dealing with the customers and the shelves to the employees. Even now, a year since he got this place fixed up and reopened it, it can be a little strange to think about the fact that he has those, but that is their job, what they were hired for.

Still, he doesn't want to be one of those people who creates a divide between himself and his staff, especially when a good few of them are people he's friends with, Chris included. It's pretty quiet at this hour anyway, and he's headed over to see how things are going when a display topples over, DVDs scattering across the floor.

"Whoa," he says, and crouches to start gathering a few. "Here, man, I can help with that."

[fuck_it]

"Sorry, mate," Chris says, and he's already bent over to start to collect all the stuff he's knocked over. Now he's really wondering whether or not he should have just fuckin' stayed home and had a spliff or something. Maybe a pill. Though, it's been ages since he's properly done that and doesn't know if his dealer in Darrow still sells.

"Head's somewhere else."

[pointzerothree]

"Don't worry about it," Eduardo says with a shake of his head, frowning slightly as he glances up at Chris. The display, he's not concerned about. They can pick everything up, arrange it again. Had it fallen under other circumstances — just been knocked over in the process of doing something else, maybe — he wouldn't think twice about it at all. But Chris seems kind of out of it, not his usual self, and Eduardo can't just ignore that. "Is everything alright?"

[fuck_it]

He's picking up DVDs, stacking them up so he can gather them all and eventually set the display right— he's gonna end up staying late now, looks like— and he doesn't look up at Eduardo straight away.

"Yeah, yeah, it's cool," Chris says, "Just, you know, one of those weird clone things. S'alright, though."

It's not Jal, wasn't ever Jal, and it wouldn't matter if it was Jal, either way.

[pointzerothree]

Chris might be saying it’s alright, and maybe it is, but Eduardo knows too well what that sort of thing can be like. He’s seen people who look like Olive, one who looks like him, and an assortment of others. The one that always comes to mind, though, is Columbus, and his striking resemblance to Mark. Whatever this is, though, if it’s enough to have Chris thrown, which it kind of seems like, it’s got to be something serious, not easily shrugged off.

“You sure?” he asks lightly, just in case. “‘Cause if not… I mean, shit, I get it.”

[fuck_it]

Chris can't remember who he's talked to about Jal. It's been fuckin' ages now that he's know Olive and Eduardo and a few of the others, but he knows there's a lot of stuff he hasn't said. It's only been a year that they've known what happened to him before he ended up on the island.

"She was my girlfriend, back home," he says, deciding to just get on with it, "Not the one who's here, just... her face, yeah?"

[pointzerothree]

"Jesus," Eduardo says, his eyes going wide. It's not like it's really that uncommon or unheard of. Shit like that happens here. Still, that doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with, especially when he's sure that, in Chris's case, it has to have been a long time since he saw her. Even on its own, that isn't easy, and he doesn't know what more of a story there might be there. "How're you doing with it?"

[fuck_it]

"Uh, yeah, it's alright," Chris lies, though it probably comes through in the tone of his voice that he's pretty fuckin' far from there, really. He grabs a few more DVDs and stacks them on top of each other.

"It's just... it's been fuckin' years, you know?"

[pointzerothree]

"Yeah," Eduardo says, not sure he believes Chris's claim that it's alright, but not about to just call him out on it, either. Chris is someone he considers a good friend, but there are any number of reasons why he might not want to talk about it. With something that's bound to be so emotional in nature, he doubts it could be easy. That is, in large part, why he continues the way he does. He doesn't need to harp on his own experiences, but it might even the playing field a little, as it were. "You know, a little after I showed up on the island, I saw someone who looked just like the guy I'd used to be best friends with. Fucked with my head like nothing else."

[fuck_it]

"Yeah?" Chris asks, and he knew that Eduardo had a mate from home on the island— though he doesn't think he ever met him— but not that other bit. It's like that one bloke on the island with the glasses who'd looked a bit like Tony. Though, that doesn't really compare to the girl who looks like Jal, not really.

"D'you talk to him? Or just... y'know, see him from far off?"

[pointzerothree]

"Both," Eduardo says, thoughtful. It's been a long time since he thought about any of this at all. Hell, after Mark himself showed up, it hadn't really mattered that there'd been someone who looked like him first. So soon on the heels of everything that happened before he got to the island, though, it had hurt like hell, especially seeing the person he thought was his erstwhile best friend with Olive. "I just saw him from far off, first. Later, I met him."

[fuck_it]

"And it went alright?" With the girl who'd looked like Jal, it hadn't gone well. He'd freaked her out and then left once he'd realized he had the wrong person, basically. Though, it wasn't 'cause of anything she'd done wrong, he just couldn't look at her and hear some other voice come out of her mouth. It was too fucked.

[pointzerothree]

"Not great," Eduardo admits, mouth pulling to the side. He'd still been so fucking angry then, unable to restrain his own bitterness when looking at someone who looked so much like Mark. It had been worse, though, seeing him with Olive, thinking they were close. She bore the brunt of it, really, but that seems like too much to get into now. He doesn't want to steer the focus to himself with what Chris is dealing with. "Not terrible, but... it definitely could have gone better."

[fuck_it]

Chris frowns, and goes back to stacking DVDs for a moment.

"I left," he says, remembering, though he doesn't want to think about how excited he'd been at first, how he felt like a bellend for how glad he'd been that Jal was there.

"Made up an excuse. It was too fuckin' weird, you know?"

[pointzerothree]

"Yeah," Eduardo says, nodding. "I can't say I blame you." Even knowing it's a possibility, with the way people look alike around here, he doesn't think it's something that a person could come to terms with all at once, especially not while in the presence of whoever's in question. That sort of thing can take time. He certainly hadn't stayed to see Columbus and Olive hanging out together beyond the time it took to mistake the guy for Mark in the first place, and once they spoke, he didn't do so for very long. "It's a lot to deal with."

[fuck_it]

"Yeah, it's—" Chris says, and stops for a second, and shuts his eyes, combing one hand through his hair, "I dunno if I'm supposed to be like this about it. I mean, Cissie... she's fuckin' amazing, and it's been ages. Years."

He doesn't think about Jal in that way as often anymore. Sometimes, he'll remember the way she smiled, but it's not as if he wishes she was in Darrow so they could be together again. That's happened already. He's moved on. Or at least he thought he'd moved on.

[pointzerothree]

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it," Eduardo says thoughtfully, glancing down at the floor for a moment. In this aspect of it, at least, he knows he can only speak theoretically, not from his own experience. He wouldn't want anything to do with Mark if he showed up here, and as far as former girlfriends go, the most serious he had before Olive was Christy, and that was a goddamn nightmare. What he has here is so separate from all of that that it doesn't make a difference. Still, that doesn't mean he can't at least try to provide some insight. "I mean... this girlfriend of yours, it sounds like she was a big part of your life. That she meant a lot to you. Of course you're going to feel something seeing someone who looks like her. It doesn't mean you'd want to get back together with her, or that what you have with Cissie means any less."

[fuck_it]

"She was," Chris answers, solemn. There was a time when Chris thinks she was the only person in his life who actually gave a shit. No. Cass probably did too, but that was different. She'd had her own stuff going on when he got got kicked out of college, when he'd lost his student flat. Jal had been the one who'd been there for him, even after he'd nearly fucked it all up.

"I should probably tell her about it too, yeah? Cissie, I mean."

[pointzerothree]

"That would probably be a good idea," Eduardo says, frowning slightly. It's not like he thinks it'll go over poorly, but it still can't be an easy thing to bring up if the relationship was a serious one, no matter how far in the past it is now. "Just so it's out in the open, you know? I'm sure it'll be fine." Cissie is smart and reasonable, and it doesn't take a genius to see that she and Chris are crazy about each other. As long as Chris is up front about it, he has no doubt that everything will be okay.

[fuck_it]

"Yeah. Yeah, sure," Chris says, but he's not completely convinced, not sure what he's going to do if he sees her out somewhere, wearing Jal's face. Walk away again, he supposes. Just talking to her again seems like it'd be too fuckin' weird.


"Thanks. I didn't mean to... just... thanks, yeah?"

[pointzerothree]

"Of course," Eduardo says, getting the last of the DVDs organized. "You don't have to thank me." He just hopes he might have been able to do some good. It's a fucked up situation to have to wind up in, one he doesn't envy Chris for in the slightest, and he can't blame him for being thrown by it. He would be, too. "Let me know how it goes once you talk to her."

[fuck_it]

"Yeah, mate," Chris replies, but he's not sure how that's gonna go. Not that Cissie's ever been angry at him, but it doesn't mean she won't be. He's never talked to her about Jal, and even now, he's not sure it's the right thing to do. It might be time to give a go now.